okobi

a + b = x

if a = self
and x = happiness
solve for b

The tricky part of the equation is that b is different for everybody, so it's not like you can cheat by peeking over at the answer sheet of the person sitting next to you. Also, b is tricky because it could be one of those equations within an equation rather than a single factor, making it harder to pin down. And there always seems to be those who breeze through the problem easily without a second thought while others struggle to finish solving it within the allotted time. I really envy the breezers. Man, I don't even know if any of this makes sense outside of my head.

But what would make me happy right this minute is to stop feeling so sick. It's not as bad as yesterday, but I was still up most of the night feeling ill. Right now moving too fast or too much is asking a lot, and just the thought of food is making my stomach roll. Hopefully sometime today I'll be able to go see the doctor. I'm really hoping this is just some food poisoning I've managed to give myself and not some sort of virus - I've missed too much school as it is.

God, I feel like such an asshole.

( Wow this got rambly. )

Okay, I think I'm all prepared for my entrance test for that college course. I've been studying like mad all week because apparantly since I've been out of school for awhile they want to be sure my english and math skills are still up to snuff. :P It's been causing me a bit of stress, let me tell you. The english will be easy, no problem. Math is another thing entirely. I haven't thought about algebra in years! @_@

Man, I can't wait until this week is over. Hopefully the school won't keep me waiting too long before they tell me if I did well enough and confirm my enrollment. Once that bit's over with there's gonna be a huge weight off my shoulders.

Now I just have to make sure I wake up at 7. *checks clock*

Ah crap. So much for a decent night's sleep.

I'm being crazy again and someone needs to yell at me. >_<

SO. I've got this sweet PT job, right? The one where everyone is absolutely amazing and I love it to bits there, even when there's the occasional customer who's got their nose bent out of shape. Thanks to these past few weeks at this place I've come to realize that doing something I enjoy far outweighs doing something I only tolerate for the sake of a good paycheck (cliche, I know, but up til now I thought a good paycheck could help in swallowing a couple bitter pills). I now have no idea how the hell I managed to survive at that call centre for almost three years.

( Now cut for length. Good grief this thing got long. )

EDIT: So now that I've sat back and though on it a bit more, and I realized that the whole idea is pretty dependent on my getting a student loan that covers all my expenses. And I also realized that if that doesn't happen, I can wait a few months and try applying again for the course that starts in January. And if that doesn't work, then I'll wait until next year and use the time to bolster my savings as much as I can. Of course, this whole thing is contingent on whether my folks will let me move back in with them for a bit. I'd be willing to pay room and board to help them out, so hopefully it'll go well when I ask them tomorrow.

...So yeah, looking back on what I've typed here, I guess I'm pretty decided that I want to do this, huh? Mom would say this is a perfect example of my typical decison-making process. I think about something for months without telling anyone and then when I've finally decided on what to do it looks to everyone that I've made a snap decision out of nowhere. This time it kinda feels that way to me too, because this is something that's been stewing in the back of my thoughts rather than something that's been at the forefront of my mind.

You know a fic I'm craving to read right now? A crossover between Death Note and Detective Conan, where Conan's sent to live at Wammy House. Kaitou Kid fits in there somewhere too. I have such weird tastes. I'm really hoping to find something like this out there so I don't end up writing it myself (and failing miserably at it).

On the RL front, training for work's going really good! It's a little frustrating because some of it's supposed to be done on computer but some parts of the program aren't working right. Which means having to work around the stuff we can't access and learning bits and pieces at a time rather than in a logical flow (bit of a pet peeve of mine, I like learning things in order). But other than that, things are going great! Everyone I've met is super nice, which is a wonderful change from the last place I worked at. The only downside is that I might have to look for a second part time job or something if I end up not getting enough hours. Which would really suck because this place is so great. Here's hoping! I guess I could ask my brother for help in getting a part time job at his old workplace, but I'd rather keep that as a last resort if I can. I can't tell if it's my pride or my independence talking. But it's supposed to be a busy season soon at work, so more hours could very well happen and I'll have nothing to worry about after all. I'm hoping to eventually get hired on full time at this place, so I really, really don't want to leave just because I'm not getting a lot of hours right away. *crosses fingers*

Of course, this means that for now I'm really gonna have to cut back on a lot of extras, like going back to slower internet, cut back on buying desserts (on the plus side, more home-baked stuff!), movies, books, videogames... Okay, I gotta stop before I depress myself. It'll be a little tight for a bit, but it's not impossible! C'mon self, GO FIGHT WIN!

Got most of my clothes-shopping done! All that's left are tops for work. With luck I won't have to buy any more clothes for the rest of the year! ^o^ On a side note, it should not be so hard to find pants that actually fit. Tops are a piece of cake, but finding pants for my short legs are an outright ordeal.

I almost ended up not going out at all tonight though - I pulled a dumbass move and accidentally locked myself out of the car while it was warming up when I went to put something in the trunk. I had to pelt back to the house and ask my landlady if I could borrow her spare key for my rooms, and then I ended up almost trashing my place trying to find my spare car key. I was a little panicked because my car was already low on gas and I didn't want to have to call roadside assistance to send a locksmith. Sometimes they can take up to a few hours to arrive if they're having a busy night. But! It all worked out in the end, luckily enough.

Y'know, that's actually the second time I've locked myself out of my car. The first time it wasn't already running though. What's next, I'll forget to turn the lights off and the battery will die?

....I hope I didn't just jinx myself.

asdlfkj'klaaasdogikjad

I just got called up out of the blue by a place I had sent in a resume to MONTHS ago. We chatted for a bit about my work background stuff like that. Long story short, I got invited to a second interivew!

...oh holy crap I'm a nervous wreck already how the hell am I going to do this? I'm not going to be able to get any sleep tonight. Dammit, I don't wanna screw this up!

Yeah, I'm kinda bouncing off the walls here. @_@

Oh god what the hell am I going to wear tomorrow? I accidentally overdressed for an interview once (doesn't seem possible, I know, but it was very awkward) and I'd rather not go through that experience again.

So today I found myself in a grocery store that I usually don't frequent too often, mostly because I'm out of beef and they've always got sales on some good stuff. Except this time I ended up wandering down an aisle I wasn't familiar with because they'd rearranged all their shelves (I hate it when stores do that), and realized that I stumbled on their tea selections. *_*

Considering what a tea whore I am, I think I restrained myself quite well by only buying a few rather than just sweeping one of everything into my cart. I've been looking for a decent lemon black tea for ages since my other store stopped selling my favourite brand, and hopefully I've managed to find one I'll like. Every other lemon tea around town that I've found has been the herbal variety (which tastes a little too astringent for me) rather than a flavoured black tea. I was torn deciding between chocolate mint or vanilla black tea, but ended up going with the vanilla. Vanilla's always been my forever girl, so it was an inevitable choice. But still, chocolate mint. I feel like a kid in an ice cream store!

Nobody's ever had to wonder what to get me for Christmas or birthdays, all they have to do is get me tea and I'm theirs for life. ^_____^

I'm still working on catching up with the One Piece anime. I just got past the Skypiea arc. Funnily enough, I think I like the anime version of the arc over the manga version. Maybe all the fight scenes come across better when they're animated, I dunno.

On the not-so-good news front, my old behemoth of a computer gave up the ghost last week, and I ended up having to cough up the money for a new computer. So yes, I've been forcibly converted to Vista now, after working so long with XP. What turned out to be a nice surprise is that it's not that different to navigate around than XP was (after changing around a few annoying default options, of course). It's just a hell of a lot faster. Still, my wallet is crying in the corner right now. I just wish this kind of expense could've waited until I had a bit more extra to throw around, especially with me still job-hunting.